The exact moment- when, you appeared in front of me as a sight to tired eyes and opened your arms because I needed to fall this one time to rise; you woke me up from sleep because you needed me and you wouldn’t shy away from it; you said that you don’t want me to leave; you expressed the joy of being in my silent company; tried to own me and yet set me free; gently placed your hands on my forehead and stole a piece of my heart because your warmth was worth melting for; shared your fears and opened an album of memories; sat across me on my bed, and looked at me as if this is the first time, tracing my smile and glitter and could be the last, and I looked at you in awe of what the stars have given me, a light to guide me on a starless night- in those exact moments; I wanted to live forever and in those ‘fleeting’ moments I know I will.
I have to say that my favourite picture is that of the fire ball melting into the sea like liquid gold while the lavender sky makes way for the moon. Makes me revisit the beautiful battles of this beautiful life.
To the ones who broke promises~ even though you walked all over, I still like to dance to the subtle tune of forevers that come my way.
To the ones who glanced at more than my clothes~ you made me aware of the heaviness of my own sighing chest; I still carry a heart under those ribs which you tried to break.
The ones who forgot to stand up~ I wonder if it were just your legs that were paralysed or even your blood. I still entertain big words in search of intent.
The ones who severed my veins to see if I was really made of steel~ I still have a bag of courage stored for you.
To the lessons that forced me to shed skin~ you should know that the fist sized organ doesn’t seem to give up. I wear you like a pendent, close to my beating chest. When my heaving skin shivers against its rocky body, I know how I came into existence.
As things slowly and steadily come to an end- I no longer know what forever looks like. I see all of us trying to ‘live in the moment’ desperately to keep it forever, alive. I want to hold on to the moments too that’ll never come back and I see them falling apart even faster. So I tip toe out, leaving a promise of forever behind. And I’ll leave the door open for another ‘promise to stay’ slip in.
You gave me a forever in a few days. I promised a million in a couple of moments. A forever that you couldn’t possibly give me and a forever that I can’t imagine myself offering you. Because, how much ever we try, we will not be able to walk the same path. My friend, my love, my person- who taught me that friendship and blood are equally thick, and held me so carefully- I wish to walk along side you always.
Today, as the time tick tocks its way out of this bubble that didn’t had to last long anyway, let me tell you that my promise is made of the iron in my blood and not the armour that rusts. It’s a word I meant and I will. I threw it into the universe with your name attached- it’ll be etched on the canvas in form of the brightest star. When it falls, I’ll be with you for the ride and together, we will fulfil some other wishes as people wish upon the glow of our ever fulfilling promise of a forever.
Do you know of the moment- when you look at someone who is love for you. And then you look at their eyes and all you do is go upto them, climb up their lap, and allow yourself to immerse in their strong arms and lose control of your body. Their skin absorbs your puddles. You let the warmth of their body melt your freezing nerves.
For that moment, here is a sip of calmness.
You could be 2; 20; 40.
Sometimes broken pieces when stuck together differently make more glorious sense.
From once upon a time till today we’ve been told to walk the ground as if nothing is wrong.
Let someone else know the saltiness of tears- don’t gulp them down your throats this time.
Stretch your hands out, hold them as tight as you please.
Be a ship that leaves its anchor in the dark of sea, hoping to be caught but leaves itself free anyway.
Because that fall is a trip in itself and faith, can never be lost.
Have faith in power of those hearts who could be your land when you are the sea.
Leave your weight on those shoulders and chests.
In moments when their breathing body moves with yours and syncs and forms a note of the music- those moments will fill your lungs with more air- and rekindle your spirit to live.
So just this time, let go.
What makes the sky especially pick up the molecules you are made of and the clouds sprinkle you with star dust? Love- that’s why you have that smile that brightens up dull days and the brightest days feel honoured when they witness it! With the so called love day arriving, it hit me ever harder how we’ve been demeaning the power of love- the concept of it. Love, that is the reason why the earth revolves and rather wants to and continues to. We wake up every morning to embrace it- whatever love that maybe. It ranges on a wide spectrum- a bouquet of my favourite orchids to a warm hug to a dog jumping to greet me with his beautiful eyes- love knows it all and love does it all. It’s the feeling that you have to cross rainbows for a person, or the eagerness to wipe off someone’s tears. It’s how day by day you find your best friend in someone and how you sever a few threads to keep the old love alive. Love- it’s the celebration of life. It’s the sea salt that tastes good because drowning is okay to meet your person to form a constellation. It’s the Nutella jar that you get at your doorstep because stress and hormones shouldn’t be the reason for a dim day. Well, love is simply how you stay alive. ✨